This weekend has been filled with many things… cleaning being the most prevelent. I don’t think my closet has EVER been cleaner/more organized. Seriously. Granted, I decided to use the space in the 2nd bedroom here that I really haven’t used all that much of in the past. But the rest of the house is looking pretty stellar as well. Christmas tree is up, living room & dining room have been vaccuumed, bedroom is getting to the point where I need to buy a desk/table in order to get things the way they need to be there as well. (A trip to IKEA may be in order one snow-less upcoming weekend!)
Another thing that I did this weekend was an assessment test of my abilities. It has been pretty interesting reading over the results… and I’m pretty excited to have more analysis done on it as well. There were a lot of things that were confirmed there for me, but I have also learned that things I enjoy (writing, photography, etc.) are natural abilities for me as well. (Or at least that’s how I’m reading the report!) One thing the report did show me is that my vocabulary SUCKS. Here I thought I was all smart and stuff, but some of those words I had never heard of! Based on this, I’m going to have to get a “Word-a-Day” calendar (or maybe a word-a-day e-mail?) to start learning these or reading a lot more!
Well… so then today rolls around and I was going to go to a movie (Blind Side), but didn’t have anyone to go with — so I decided to read instead (because obviously I need to do more of that to increase my vocab!) I have been reading the book “Captivating” on and off for a while now. But today, what I read **REALLY** struck a cord with me.
Like Eve after she tasted the forbidden fruit, we women hide. We hide behind our makeup. We hide behind our humor. We hide with angry silences and punishing withdrawals. We hide our truest selves and offer only what we believe is wanted, what is safe. We act in self-protective ways and refuse to offer what we truly see, believe, and know. We will not risk rejection or looking like a fool. We have spoken in the past and been met with blank stares and mocking gaffaws. We will not do it again. We hide because we are afraid. We have been wounded and wounded deeply. People have sinned against us and we have sinned as well. To hide means to remain safe, to hurt less. At least that is what we think. And so by hiding, we take matters into our own hands. We don’t return to God with our broken and desperate hearts. And it has never occurred to us that in all our hiding, something precious is lost – something the world needs from us very, very much. … Where do you go instead of to God when the ache of your heart begins to make itself known?
Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge, pgs 56-57
I think this is why this is such a good book for me to be reading… it not only confirms things within me, but also is helping me to realize with these things I’ve been doing – I need to begin to rely on God more to take these feelings and insecurities away.
So there you have it… my weekend thus far.
Tomorrow I have another family gathering which I am taking the “Hungry Girl” Spinach Dip so that I know there will be one low fat option for me there! (Although, I know I won’t limit myself to just the healthy stuff… my mom is taking lasagna!) I also know that I will be on my way to the gym shortly after the workout to get some of those calories burned off!
Hope you all are having as enjoyable extended weekend as I am!