Peace…

When my life becomes a crazy mess of all things pushed together… I fall apart. Literally. Remember what all I said I was going to do a month ago? Well, let’s just say it’s all come together in one bit pile o’ poo. {At least I said it nicely.} 🙂

And with that… I fell apart last week.

I tried to hold it together. I tried to make it all work. I tried to be everything to myself – and all of my online friends at the same time.

Because I truly want to meet each and every one of them.

I have been so overwhelmed with things in my life that I forced myself to make a very difficult decision. A decision about something that I’ve been looking forward to. A decision that I know will disappoint some people and will likely start people talking about me behind my back. {I hate to say it, but I’m afraid it’s true.}

But now that this decision has been made, I have this incredible peace about the whole situation. It’s crazy how this feels… because I didn’t realize how anxious I had been before. How worked up I had been about the whole thing.

I think when you work too hard at something – or you believe it’s the right thing to do – you become blind to the fact that it might not be a healthy thing for you. It might be because you don’t want to change. Or maybe because you are looking forward to something with so much anticipation it almost consumes you. But sometimes it’s because you feel like it’s the safe option.

Sometimes you have to go against the flow – and really analyze what you want in life. Or rather, what you need out of life. And that’s what I finally did. I looked at what I wanted… or rather needed in my life, and had to make a decision to change something.

While the decision has been made that I will no longer be attending the Relevant Conference – I am still hoping that the friends that I know going to this amazing conference will keep in touch with me. That they will still love me, even though I won’t be able to meet them

I will likely sell my ticket to the conference –if you are interested in it, please e-mail me (dutchbeingme@gmail.com) and/or if I can sell enough cards (100 sets) I will hold up my commitment that I will sponsor someone to go, learn, grow and be blessed at this conference.

This was one of the hardest blog posts I’ve ever written because I’m afraid of disappointing people. But know that it isn’t due to anyone attending the conference, but rather over-extending myself on commitments that I’ve made… and needing to stop and rest for a bit too.

Blessings.